All posts in Food

Carrot Accidental Vagina

Delicious and Nutritious

Do it like rabbits and nibble on me. Sure I’m a little dirty, but that’s half the fun. Don’t you know the dirty ones are the most flavorful?  Read more…

Oyster Accidental Vagina

Hunger Games

What were you thinking when you ordered me!? Oh sure, you can eat me out of the palm of your hand and I can see how that might be intriguing for a man of your stature.  Read more…

Cheeto Vagain

Don’t Forget the Fingers

Nibble on me…crunch on my cheesy goodness. Don’t you dare turn your nose up at my spicy cheddar! At least it isn’t a brie. Besides, life is about being adventurous and trying new things. Read more…

Mind Your Manners

Oopsie. I didn’t expect to get so wet when the waiter leaned over me to fill those glasses. The ice cold drops tickle as they run down my alabaster skin. If only my man would give me some attention and pick me up Read more…

On the ragu

Buon Giorno from Italy

One week a month I get the red sauce. Unfortunately, it does come with the formaggi.


Restaurant window accidental vagina

It’s a Girl!

You could say that I’m stuck in the 80’s and I might find it difficult to convince you otherwise. Sure my dated, uneven exterior, showing all the years of accumulated hail damage, isn’t the prettiest of sites to behold. Read more…

Beef Tongue Accidental Vagina

Stick a Fork in Me

Don’t you close your eyes and turn your nose up at me. What, do I disgust you? Does the very sight of me turn your stomach? Well, kiss my…grits. All my life I’ve been the ugly one. I was the ugly sister, the unfortunate niece, Read more…

Cranberry Dish Accidental Vagina Thanksgiving

What are YOU eating for Thanksgiving?

Hidden in the mindfield of sweet potato casserole, stuffing and pistachio pudding, there is a tangy side trying not to be forgotten. Chunky or smooth, this Thanksgiving lover comes from a can and perks up the saddest of sides. Decided to go the extra mile and make your cranberry sauce from scratch? Read more…