On the ragu

Buon Giorno from Italy

One week a month I get the red sauce. Unfortunately, it does come with the formaggi.


Restaurant window accidental vagina

It’s a Girl!

You could say that I’m stuck in the 80’s and I might find it difficult to convince you otherwise. Sure my dated, uneven exterior, showing all the years of accumulated hail damage, isn’t the prettiest of sites to behold. Read more…

Accidental Vagina Couch

Seven Vaginas for My Special Valentine

Here alone, once again on V-Day.  So distant are my memories of what it felt like to have and hold someone else’s skin against mine. What I would do for someone to notice me if only for a moment, especially today, the day of love. Read more…

Accidental Vagina Pink Collared Shirt

Off the Rack and on to Yours

I’ve entertained the idea that perhaps I shouldn’t show off my ruffles. That I shouldn’t prominently display something so personal about myself. Does my blushing pinkness scream hopeless romantic? Read more…

Beef Tongue Accidental Vagina

Stick a Fork in Me

Don’t you close your eyes and turn your nose up at me. What, do I disgust you? Does the very sight of me turn your stomach? Well, kiss my…grits. All my life I’ve been the ugly one. I was the ugly sister, the unfortunate niece, Read more…

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  • National_Geographic_Accidental_Vagina

Mother Nature’s Great Divide

I’ve heard some say Mother Nature’s a bitch. Um, offensive much? Just because I occasionally lose my temper and mess with the weather, doesn’t mean I’m a terrible temptress. Hi, yes I am Mother Nature. What did you expect me to look like? I’ve given birth to every living thing on earth so of course I’m a tad stretched out. Read more…

Fits Like a Glove

Take me out to the ball game, take me out with the crowd (because I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, but that’s neither here nor there). Read more…

Cranberry Dish Accidental Vagina Thanksgiving

What are YOU eating for Thanksgiving?

Hidden in the mindfield of sweet potato casserole, stuffing and pistachio pudding, there is a tangy side trying not to be forgotten. Chunky or smooth, this Thanksgiving lover comes from a can and perks up the saddest of sides. Decided to go the extra mile and make your cranberry sauce from scratch? Read more…

Pocket Pussy Accidental Vagina Shirt

Pocket P

So much style. So much personality. So telling about who we are. The best of us often wear our hearts on our sleeve while those truly open to persuasion wear their P on their chest. Read more…

Coffee Table Gold Lips Accidental Vagina

Gold Lips

Do not be deceived by my glimmering gold exterior, I am steamy, hot and red on the inside. I am, An Accidental Vagina.

One might think that the magazines littered around me are a distraction. I know the receptionist who planted them there thought they might, but my devilish desires cannot be overlooked. Read more…