Whoa! Easy there tiger. A girl isn’t ready for that kind of action without her engine getting revved a bit first.
I may be bendy and flexible, but don’t take that as an opportunity to take advantage of me. Warm the seat and hit the defrost button before you go knuckles deep. You can’t just throw all your weight down on me without a little prep and not expect some of my insides to come flying out the back end. And why does it feel like you are unnecessarily digging to china?
Oh wait, you were just looking for your keys.
Yes, this is a real product. I can only imagine the designers laughing the entire time.
*** special thanks to Becca for this co-submission ***