Cranberry Dish Accidental Vagina Thanksgiving

What are YOU eating for Thanksgiving?

Hidden in the mindfield of sweet potato casserole, stuffing and pistachio pudding, there is a tangy side trying not to be forgotten. Chunky or smooth, this Thanksgiving lover comes from a can and perks up the saddest of sides. Decided to go the extra mile and make your cranberry sauce from scratch? Well this effort certainly deserves more respect than a broken gold-trimmed china bowl. You use the dish that dares to scream “eat me” when labor of love is carefully placed into your ceramic centerpiece.

Don’t hasten your effort and allow your presentation to overflow the sides of your sweet dish as this isn’t an 80’s Thanksgiving. Cranberry suitors of today expect a perfectly clean presentation. The only thing left to do is find the right serving utensil. Is your sauce thick enough to play with the big boys? Do you only require a spoon? Have you done enough to compete with the reigning, seductive king of the Thanksgiving feast…the Gravy Boat? We shall see.

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Any way you serve it, I am an Accident waiting to happen.  Something on the side, you ask?  Oooh, yes.

I can be quite adventurous if the right married man comes along.  Women hate me, but I just can’t help myself.  I have red-handed desires so strong they’re crimson.  Stolen in the night is my specialty, but I’ll settle for a nooner.  Lunchtime can be just as alluring.

Need a quiet little helping of coy flirtation?  I can dish that up.  Prefer a devilish game of come hither looks over the office conference room table?  I’ll serve it up on a platter.  Whatever your weakness, I’ll find it and make your knees feel like jelly.

How do I do it? It isn’t hard.  Gentlemen everywhere are waiting to be taken. Wanting to be taken. I make myself irresistible. From the sweet smell of berries at the nape of my neck to the confidence that says everything they want to hear and more.  I pour on the decadence and give him something to be thankful for.

So ladies, protect your turkeys if you wish to keep them at home. It’s okay to make him dinner, but save some of that hot and steamy cooking for the bedroom too.  And watch out…I’m on the prowl.  If you’re off your game, this kitten will get her bird.

 

*** photo from blessedmom blog (no, I’m not kidding)  ***

1 Comment

  1. Dave

    LMFAO how come I don’t have any sides that scream “eat me!”?

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