What were you thinking when you ordered me!? Oh sure, you can eat me out of the palm of your hand and I can see how that might be intriguing for a man of your stature. Read more…
Don’t Forget the Fingers
Nibble on me…crunch on my cheesy goodness. Don’t you dare turn your nose up at my spicy cheddar! At least it isn’t a brie. Besides, life is about being adventurous and trying new things. Read more…
Mind Your Manners
Oopsie. I didn’t expect to get so wet when the waiter leaned over me to fill those glasses. The ice cold drops tickle as they run down my alabaster skin. If only my man would give me some attention and pick me up Read more…
Tight Fit
Finding that perfect fit can be near impossible. From the way they hug your family jewels to the sensation you feel when you slide them on, you know when you’ve finally found the one. So many need to be tried on to find that match made in heaven. Read more…
Whores Collar
I’ve heard em all… You know what’s underneath a pony’s tail? A horse is a horse until he croaks, then he’s glue. I’m not saying I approve of such crude and sometimes cruel jokes, but they do at times make me giggle. Please don’t tell Bob. Read more…
On the ragu
Buon Giorno from Italy
One week a month I get the red sauce. Unfortunately, it does come with the formaggi.
Ciao!
It’s a Girl!
You could say that I’m stuck in the 80′s and I might find it difficult to convince you otherwise. Sure my dated, uneven exterior, showing all the years of accumulated hail damage, isn’t the prettiest of sites to behold. Read more…
Seven Vaginas for My Special Valentine
Here alone, once again on V-Day. So distant are my memories of what it felt like to have and hold someone else’s skin against mine. What I would do for someone to notice me if only for a moment, especially today, the day of love. Read more…
Off the Rack and on to Yours
I’ve entertained the idea that perhaps I shouldn’t show off my ruffles. That I shouldn’t prominently display something so personal about myself. Does my blushing pinkness scream hopeless romantic? Read more…
Stick a Fork in Me
Don’t you close your eyes and turn your nose up at me. What, do I disgust you? Does the very sight of me turn your stomach? Well, kiss my…grits. All my life I’ve been the ugly one. I was the ugly sister, the unfortunate niece, Read more…
