Carrot Accidental Vagina

Delicious and Nutritious

Do it like rabbits and nibble on me. Sure I’m a little dirty, but that’s half the fun. Don’t you know the dirty ones are the most flavorful?  Read more…

Holiday Sweater Accidental Vagina

Give Him Something from Your Naughty List

While you are shopping for your man this holiday season, keep in mind what he really wants. Yes, it starts with the letter P.  Did you really have to ask? What better gift to give than the one that will remind him of your precious little goodie basket every time he wears it. Read more…

Oyster Accidental Vagina

Hunger Games

What were you thinking when you ordered me!? Oh sure, you can eat me out of the palm of your hand and I can see how that might be intriguing for a man of your stature.  Read more…

Cheeto Vagain

Don’t Forget the Fingers

Nibble on me…crunch on my cheesy goodness. Don’t you dare turn your nose up at my spicy cheddar! At least it isn’t a brie. Besides, life is about being adventurous and trying new things. Read more…

Napkin Vagina

Mind Your Manners

Oopsie. I didn’t expect to get so wet when the waiter leaned over me to fill those glasses. The ice cold drops tickle as they run down my alabaster skin. If only my man would give me some attention and pick me up Read more…

Jeans Accidental Vagina

Tight Fit

Finding that perfect fit can be near impossible. From the way they hug your family jewels to the sensation you feel when you slide them on, you know when you’ve finally found the one. So many need to be tried on to find that match made in heaven. Read more…

Whores Collar Accidental Vagina

Whores Collar

I’ve heard em all… You know what’s underneath a pony’s tail? A horse is a horse until he croaks, then he’s glue. I’m not saying I approve of such crude and sometimes cruel jokes, but they do at times make me giggle. Please don’t tell Bob.  Read more…

Accidental Vagina pizza pocket

On the ragu

Buon Giorno from Italy

One week a month I get the red sauce. Unfortunately, it does come with the formaggi.

Ciao!

Restaurant window accidental vagina

It’s a Girl!

You could say that I’m stuck in the 80′s and I might find it difficult to convince you otherwise. Sure my dated, uneven exterior, showing all the years of accumulated hail damage, isn’t the prettiest of sites to behold. Read more…

Accidental Vagina Couch

Seven Vaginas for My Special Valentine

Here alone, once again on V-Day.  So distant are my memories of what it felt like to have and hold someone else’s skin against mine. What I would do for someone to notice me if only for a moment, especially today, the day of love. Read more…